rough thoughts

so i for some reason am thinking about everything in my life today. i keep thinking about last year. i miss everyone so much. i miss the way things used to be. i miss the people in my life that really cared about me and that were always there for me. i miss being in IF. i miss feeling like i knew what i was doing in life and like i knew where i belonged. i cannot even begin to wrap my mind around how much everything has changed. i have no idea what to think anymore. i keep thinking about how i am not going to school next semester and how much that scares me but i really want to do it at the same time. i haven't ever had to experience a change that big so of course it scares me so much. it is definitely on my mind everyday. it influences almost every action i have. i don't want to get serious with anyone because i don't want to have to leave them. i know it is something i need to do. i just keep having this almost pain that makes me want everything back. but that's not life. i have to just keep moving forward and hoping for the best.